Being Cheap

“How much did you pay for those eggs?” my father asked as I unloaded the groceries from the supermarket. 

I could see what was coming. “I don’t remember,” I lied.

Not one to be so easily defeated, he fished in the bag and dug out the cash register tape. “You paid too much,” he said. 

He bought his eggs at Quintal's, where he got them for less.  I thought he was foolish to drive to North Plymouth to save on eggs, but now that I’m retired saving money is about the only way I can influence my purchasing power.  As befits a fogy, I’ve become cheap.

When I enter the supermarket I go directly to the produce that’s reduced for quick sale.  Usually I can find fruits and vegetables that will be perfectly good if used right away.  Then I go to the place where they sell the ends of cold cuts.  Ragged turkey makes just as good a sandwich, and with the skillful use of a sharp knife I can turn an ungainly chunk of ham into usable slices. 

I pick up three different brands of hot dog in a single package.  Then I head for the day-old bread. 

On Thursday when the fliers from the supermarkets arrive, I study them.  I’m getting so I remember prices.  $1.25 for a two liter bottle of Coke is no bargain.  88¢ is a good buy.  I’m shocked at price differences.  $3.49 for Planter’s cocktail peanuts is outrageous; I know where I can get the same size can for $2.50.  Never before have I carried such facts in my head.

Sometimes I mess up.  The other day I got some raspberries on the reduced produce trolley.  I peered through the plastic container, and they looked alright, but I didn’t use them fast enough, and they had to be thrown away.  Deduct their cost from my savings on everything else. 

Do I make out by belonging to BJ’s?  They get their profit up front.  It will take a lot of purchases to save an amount equal to the membership fee. I go down to Market Basket in New Bedford and get some things cheaper than I can here in town, but there’s the cost of the gas.  It becomes something of a game. 

When I win I get to feel shrewd.  My father was one up by getting his eggs cheaper than I did.  Some friends were telling me about a smart phone app that lets you read the bar code on an item you see in a store.  The ap. tells you where you can get the lowest price on the item. It consults the GPS feature and tells you how far you have to go to get that price. It’s meant for things like cameras and blenders.  I don’t know if it works on Green Giant baby peas.

I’ve read that you save quite a bit with careful shopping, and I hope it’s true.  I hope it’s not just bragging rights and the illusion that I’m in control.